Sometimes you ask for things. You bring them on yourself as some would say. Our beautiful, new home is one of those things. We asked for it. We went searching for a place just like this. A place that smelled horrible and needed new everything. I mean everything. I may grumble and whine about the stress our house caused but I wanted it. I brought it on myself.
Then there are cards you are dealt that you would rather give back. I can not complain because many of you have been dealt much worse hands. Your cards are so heavy that I can't imagine from where you gather the strength each day to rise. You are my heroes. I draw strength and hope each day as I watch many of you do really hard things. Your courage helps me know I too can do hard things but sometimes my resolve diminishes at the first bump in the road. Today I realize I can not control what obstacles are placed before me whether it be a speed bump or the Grand Canyon. I have no control.
What I am slowly starting to wrap my simple mind around is that God is driver of the crazy train I'm riding in. It's not me. I am simply a passenger who is doing my best to convince God to let me sit in his lap and drive. I think about the times I would beg my Dad to let me drive up the driveway at our house. I would sit in his lap and drive the 500 feet to the garage. In that brief ten seconds of time I was in control. I thought I knew exactly what I was doing despite the fact he was controlling the pedals.
Yesterday was the day. Magic circle day. We have been waiting on the day for a while. Our nerves had subsided and impatience had set it. We were ready to get the party started. To spare you the long drawn out details I will cut to the chase. Seth most likely has glaucoma. The dislocation of his lens and the glaucoma are more than likely caused by a congenital condition he has had since birth. He has two different color eyes and that is a symptom of this condition. So we go back Tuesday in hopes that the drops he is now taking will have lowered his pressure. If they do not he will have surgery one day next week.
I did not ask for this. I don't want to have to deal with my four year old son screaming through another doctor's appointment but in the grand scheme this is just a bump in the road. In comparison to others this is a pot hole. We will have to adjust certain aspects of our daily life but this is not an earth shattering event. I must remember God is my driver. He's got this.
Love you all!
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