Lord, help me to remember.

As a thirty one year old woman my memory stinks. Really. I can't remember what I wore the day before unless I am still wearing it. Hello, stay at home mom. I can't remember what I had for lunch or what I said in the middle of an argument with my husband. That's a real kicker. It stinks. No vitamin or miracle supplement can help boost my memory. My brain is like an iPhone with a 16g memory capacity. You have to constantly delete stuff to be able to hold new stuff. It stinks.

I laid in bed tonight unable to sleep because I have also hit the age where I can no longer have caffeine after noon. My, sometimes sweet, sometimes defiant two year old laid beside me. He looked so precious and peaceful in sleep and yet so big and grown. It's hard to face the fact that I will carry no more children. I will have no more newborns to wake me constantly through the night. It's a tough pill to swallow and my prayer in that moment was "Lord, please help me to remember."



Help me to remember dirty dishes mean my family has food.

Help me to remember piles of laundry means plenty of clothes to wear.

Help me to remember toys on floor equals fun and creativity.

Help me also to remember they want to sleep in my bed because I make them feel safe and loved.



At the same time,

Help me to remember the small hands and fingers you allowed to me hold.

Help to me to remember that first grin and giggle.

Help me to remember that first basket or hit.

Help me to remember they are learning everyday, watching me and how I will respond.

Help me to remember what it was like to be scared in the middle of the night and how safe my parents made me feel.

Help me to remember that I won't get this day back EVER again.

Help me Lord to soak it in. ALL OF IT. You have blessed me to be their parent and I am blessed because they are my children.